Thoughtless Thinking!

This story originates from my first three years in the working world.I was working in a small town store that sold stereos, television sets, pianos, organs, and appliances. I had been married quite recently and could not afford to do much after work. The store only had a few people working there. The boss, myself and another saleslady made up the sales staff, and there were two bookkeepers who looked after the cash transactions and any credit arrangements with customers. One of the bookkeepers was in her 70's. She was an aged spinster and the boss kept her employed for sentimental reasons. She had been with the store for 35 years after all. The other bookkeeper was a young girl in her early twenties. (She did a lot of the routine work under the direction of the more senior staff member. She did most of the routine work under the direction of the older lady. The senior person dealt with paying invoices from our wholesalers, and in payment delinquencies from customers. She did most of the details of bookkeeping under the day to day direction of the older lady. They had a severe personality clash between them, but most of the time that did not affect their work. The younger girl just loved to catch the older ladies mistakes, and often I heard all about the latest fiasco over lunch.

On Monday morning when we first arrived, we tended to BS about our weekend happenings.  Since I was recently married and cash was tight, my wife and I mostly just hung out with friends. The old lady apparently had a taste for scotch, or at least that is what I had been told. She usually just went to church on Sundays, and hung around drinking 'tea' with her friends. The other sales associate was a woman around 55 years old who spent most of her weekend cooking for her family and extended family. The boss never come in until 10:00 AM which is why we were able to shoot the breeze every Monday from 9:00 till 9:30 or so.

That leaves the younger office girl Cathy. She was young, on the prowl, and her weekends were spent frequenting the local watering holes as she looked for guys. Her ultimate objective was to find a guy to marry. Because all of the rest of us could only talk about the same stuff we talked about last week, invariably, the conversation on Monday tended to center on Cathy's latest exploits. She had a way of dramatizing the mundane, so if nothing else, her stories were more interesting than – 'I cooked dinner for my family'. She was not ugly, but not exactly the prettiest girl in the world either, so her trials and vexations were many. All of the rest of the staff had a different opinion though. We all felt her problem was her attitude. This is best typified by the following story.

The day after one particular weekend, Cathy was once again discussing her weekend. Par for the course, she had been out on the town with her closest friends. She was whining that her Saturday evening was a bust because she did not get to dance at all. She mentioned that this guy had come up to their table just as they got there, and had asked one of her friends to dance and was turned down. He asked each of the other girls at the table, and they all turned him down too, including Cathy. Over the next hour, she had watched him ask other girls in the club, who all turned him down, so he left. She then went on about how stupid he was.  I asked her why it was stupid, because from my point of view it looked like he just wanted to dance.

She said that once one of the girls at her table said no, then all the other girls just had to say no. Otherwise they would look desperate. Perplexed by this attitude, I asked her to elaborate more.  She said that after being turned down by all the women at our table, he then proceeded to ask other women at other tables, and they of course had to turn him down too. When I asked why, she said that it would have made them seem needy. Like they would just dance with anybody else's leavings.

In an effort to truly understand what to me was a twisted point of view, I asked her some more questions. I asked him if he was someone that women would not want to be caught dead with because he had warts on his face or something. She said that he was actually quite good looking, and she had been hoping for weeks that he would ask her to dance. So I asked if she knew why the first girl had turned him down. She said that they had just gotten there, and that that she did not feel like dancing yet. So I asked her if the guy would have asked her (Cathy) first would she have danced with him. She said that she had wanted him to ask her for weeks, so of course she would have said yes.  My eyes were now crossing trying to follow this distorted logic.

At this point I decided to summarize what I had heard to make sure that I got it right. I said, you really wanted to dance with him, but he happened to ask the other girl first. You knew she turned him down, not because she would not dance with him at all, but just because she did not feel like dancing at that particular point in time. She agreed with that. I suggested that she ended up having a crappy evening because she had turned down the one guy who asked her to dance with him. She said, yes, sometimes you can be unlucky.

Being young and foolish and certain that I could solve anything, I decided that I could convince her that her reasoning was faulty, so I persisted. So I asked her to put herself in the place of the guy. I said if you were a guy, who at the table would you have approached to dance first? She said that she supposed she would have approached the same girl that he did, because she was cuter, even though her personality was not as good as hers (Cathy's). So I asked if she had ever actually talked to the guy other than to turn him down, and she said no. So I said that she had never given him the opportunity to talk to her because she had refused to dance with him. How was he supposed to know that she had a better personality? She gave me a look that told me that she now classified my as mentally challenged. “Weren't you listening to me? I already told you why I could not dance with him!”, she said.  At that point I dropped the conversation. It was clearly pointless.

A week or two later, I noticed that Cathy was moping around for a couple of days. So I cajoled her into telling me what her problem was. She said that the guy she really liked had shown up with a new girlfriend on his arm, and they danced all night. She said that the girl was not that good looking, and was not even a good dancer. I said, too bad you messed up your chance. Again she looked at me like I was a moron. “How many times do I have to tell you that I couldn't!”, she said.  A year later, the guy apparently married the girl, and Cathy moped around for weeks. Believe it or not, other than refuse to dance with him, she had never spoken to the guy!

I left that store shortly afterwards but stayed in the city. A friend of mind took my place and worked there for another ten years before he too went on to greener pastures. At the time he left, Cathy had been promoted to senior bookkeeper after the older lady died. She was, however, still unmarried with no steady boyfriend. She was still prowling the bars with her friends on the weekend. She still had not found her prince charming.

I guess she never changed!


For more advice with online dating and male – female relationships, follow the link below:

Relationships Advice For Men

Lesbian Relationships

For a great deal of lesbians, finding the love of your life can be as easy as googling for lesbian dating sites (or even some more general purpose online dating sites) and creating an true profile that is interesting to read, and then just sit back and read the emails that will start to trickle in for the next few days. Sounds easy right , well it is, but you will get a lot more action if you take the time to initiate contact with other people on the site. Look at other people's profiles and reach out to them via chat or email on the site. You will likely find some really interested women to connect with. On top of that, you may find some ideas that you might want to capitalize on and add to your profile. After all, if something in someone else's profile catches your eye, then something similarly phrased in your profile will likely catch someone else's eye as well. A lot of lesbians find themselves in groups of singles while they are doing things they enjoy, are at work, and attending social gatherings. Any special event that attracts you will also attract like minded individuals, so you should always be on the lookout for someone with interests compatible to  yours.

 A common mistake that many lesbians make when having their first relationship is moving too fast. Soon you might find yourself in bed next to someone you barely know. Go out together for a while, get to know each other to find out what you have in common. You should have some common interests, values and plans for the future that will mesh well. Share things with each other, if you get a new job, if a family member has a baby, a party is planned, a kudos you might have gotten, be sure to involve your partner, you should not only think of them as your lover but also your best friend.

If you are at a family gathering or with friends and someone starts telling gay and lesbian jokes that are in bad taste and insulting to you and your partner, and you see your partner is disgusted by it, just get up and leave, tell them you came to enjoy yourselves not to listen to a lot of trash about how other people live their lives|One awkward situation would be to find yourselves at a social or family gathering and hear people dissing the gay and lesbian community at large. This will require you to make a stand and let people know that you will not tolerate statements of that nature. Insult them if you have to. If your family and friends are aware of your sexual preference then tell them that you are not at all happy about what was said, and that if they think your way of life is something to be made fun of and make jokes about then please don't expect you and your partner to attend any more get togethers. After all, who needs to go anywhere and be made to feel bad.

Introduce your partner to your friends and family and involve them in everything that you do. It is important when you are trying to advance a relationship to involve your family and other friends as much as possible.

Being one of God's chosen people, at least when it comes to aids, lesbians are just so lucky that their partner fully gets what it takes to satisfy them sexually. Women just totally understand how to please each other during sex.  Gay men are similarly blessed, but the aids specter spoils the fun a lot.  Pity the poor heterosexual couples where each party is not quite sure what makes the other either satisfied or happy.

Life is for living and enjoying, so live it to the fullest. Live, love and share your life with others, and surround yourself with friends and family who will be there for you in both good times and bad.

 Just remember people are always a little uneasy about things they really don't understand so ensure that you at least surround yourself with friends and family who have a positive attitude to both you, your sexuality, and your situation.  Since you are lesbians, then it would be best if many of your friends are from the lesbian community. It is difficult to find truly open minded heterosexual friends, so if you find some, then nurture them well.

God created Adam and Eve, but much suppressed in the early bible was any reference to Eva, who was Eve's lesbian playmate. God was amazing, because she totally understood the needs of women.


If you are considering a dating site then the link below can help you on your way.

http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/lesbiandating.php

Breaking Up Is Often The Hardest Part Of A Relationship

Let’s face it: sometimes things go south in a relationship. I’m not sure why they call something bad “going south”. I love going south. It’s warm. Lots of bikinis.

If you have 8 intimate relationships in your lifetime, then you had to break up 7 times. The numbers just follow. It is never easy, but it can be a  lot harder on everyone if you approach it badly.


Good Break Up Tips

1. Do It Privately

The best situation when breaking up with someone is to do it at his or her place. A lot of people say go somewhere public so they won’t make a scene. But sometimes the scene is inevitable, and you don’t want to be in public when that happens. Do it at their place, and then if they want to break something, it’s their stuff. They can kick you out, and you can leave peacefully. They don’t feel embarrassed if you’re out in public. It’s their safe place, so it’s best.

2. Do It Just Before A Weekend

This is best because it gives them time to get used to the idea before having to face the concentration that most jobs require. Relationships are one of the most disruptive things to productivity at work. Productivity goes down when you start a relationship. Productivity takes a tail spin when a relationship is ended. If they are border-line at their job for whatever reason, then the break up can lead to termination, thus adding to your guilt load.

3. Give Space and Time

The best way to effectively have a smooth break-up is limit the time you’re together with your ex immediately after the dumping. If you start seeing someone new, don’t take them to your ex’s regular haunt. Don’t rub your new partner in their face! And, if you need to talk to friends about the reason you broke up, choose friends that are not common friends. Otherwise, you’re asking for a soap opera, and I mean that in a bad way. Even though I watch soap operas. They’re hot. And they have bikinis.


Things Not To Do When Breaking Up

1. Do not break up in the kitchen. There are just too many handy sharp objects and hard missiles. A living room, or near an exit door is best.

2. Do not break up in a place where you will have to be together for a long period of time afterwards. Breaking up while on vacation is bad. Breaking up if you are on an island where you have to take the ferry back is also bad. Breaking up in some rural setting is bad unless you both came in separate vehicles.

3. Do not answer questions with an answer that can be debated. If you open yourself up to a dialogue you might end up giving it another try. It's a Trap! Run for you life!



Good luck!

For more advice articles, check out the following links:

Relationships Advice for Men


Relationships Advice for Women





If you have broken up recently and are looking for love, then check the following:
Top 10 Dating Sites