What Do Gay Men Want

 A lot of people seem to think that all gay men are shallow when seeking someone for a permanent relationship with. But is that really true? Of course many of us prefer someone who is healthy as well as physically fit; heck you can say the same thing about heterosexuals as well. So much so that sometimes it is hard for people that do not fit that physical ideal to find a partner. It can be even harder for gay men because they make up a smaller part of the general population. Some gay men are shallow and there's not a lot you can do to change that. My idea is that if they don't find you attractive they're not worth losing any sleep over and you can probably do a lot better.

With age comes wisdom, and as gay men mature, they will tend to mellow out and look for someone who is more of a friend than just a hot body. In the meantime, you are likely stuck playing the game and going to the gym regularly so that you can increase your pick up potential. Looks tends to be very important to younger gay men, but it is not the only thing. Not many guys want to date someone that is pot bellied. Personally for me I have to be very attracted to the person before I even think about about approaching another man, let alone start a relationship with them.  I guess that makes me shallow, but satisfied. 

 Why are a lot of young gay men interested in slim trim athletic types? Well lets see, guys in general are sexual creatures and want to have sex with good looking guys. This also holds true for many young men are only looking for sex and not any form of long term commitment. Of course attractiveness standards vary with different cultures and races, I have a few over weight friends that have no trouble getting dates and having serious relationships. But when it comes right down to it, it really does not matter why someone might focus on specific physical characteristics as the key features that they are looking for in a partner. Some people just behave this way when it comes to picking a mate its just who they are.

I know many people in my life that I would not consider dating, but I still like them as friends. I have some wonderful friends that I love as much as my brothers, and I met many of them on the Internet. That's right, as a matter of fact most of the guys I have dated in the past few years I have met through internet dating sites. You might think that I am callous because I can see what they look like before I put the moves on them, but it is more than that. Many of them are people that I happened to meet in chat rooms on dating sites and I became interested in them because of what they had to say. I have not dated many of them, but I do consider many of them to be among my circle of friends now. Besides, one of the best advantages of online dating is that when you just don't have the time to go out socializing, it's an easy way to meet and interact with people and it's fun.

I think I am at that cusp in my life where I am transitioning from casual pickups to a long term commitment. I am not quite ready to make the commitment jump yet, but I am thinking that a few longer term relationships might help me get past the fear that I have of being exclusive with just one person. Thats where the online dating comes in, you see when you join an online dating site both you and he know where each other stands so there's no surprises. If you hook up and it turns out that you're not really interested in a particular person but you sense their being a little pushy just move on to the next person, no harm done. And if by chance they start to hassle you online, well all you have to do is block them, with online dating sites your real email address phone number and address are never given out so there's no worry about someone spying on you following you unless you were stupid and gave them your personal contact information already.  The good thing is that most of the men you will meet on dating sites are decent human beings that are looking for the same things in life that your looking for.

For the most part most men do not care so much what you look like, or how you style your hair or whether or not you work out or not. They are primarily looking for someone to hang with. They want someone with the same interests, personality traits. Someone who is  compassionate, caring and giving. Someone who's company they can enjoy. Someone who will be there in the morning.

So if your looking for love in all the wrong places then join an online dating site to expand your horizons. There are literally hundreds of gay dating sites just waiting to help you meet someone special. They have a variety of members from many countries all looking for someone to share their time and lives with. So what are you waiting for? Get off your tush, get online and check them out. You won't be disappointed. If nothing else you're sure to make some good friends. The link below is to a site that I found helpful when I was first starting out in the internet dating arena. 

http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/gaydating.php

Breaking Up Is Often The Hardest Part Of A Relationship

Let’s face it: sometimes things go south in a relationship. I’m not sure why they call something bad “going south”. I love going south. It’s warm. Lots of bikinis.

If you have 8 intimate relationships in your lifetime, then you had to break up 7 times. The numbers just follow. It is never easy, but it can be a  lot harder on everyone if you approach it badly.


Good Break Up Tips

1. Do It Privately

The best situation when breaking up with someone is to do it at his or her place. A lot of people say go somewhere public so they won’t make a scene. But sometimes the scene is inevitable, and you don’t want to be in public when that happens. Do it at their place, and then if they want to break something, it’s their stuff. They can kick you out, and you can leave peacefully. They don’t feel embarrassed if you’re out in public. It’s their safe place, so it’s best.

2. Do It Just Before A Weekend

This is best because it gives them time to get used to the idea before having to face the concentration that most jobs require. Relationships are one of the most disruptive things to productivity at work. Productivity goes down when you start a relationship. Productivity takes a tail spin when a relationship is ended. If they are border-line at their job for whatever reason, then the break up can lead to termination, thus adding to your guilt load.

3. Give Space and Time

The best way to effectively have a smooth break-up is limit the time you’re together with your ex immediately after the dumping. If you start seeing someone new, don’t take them to your ex’s regular haunt. Don’t rub your new partner in their face! And, if you need to talk to friends about the reason you broke up, choose friends that are not common friends. Otherwise, you’re asking for a soap opera, and I mean that in a bad way. Even though I watch soap operas. They’re hot. And they have bikinis.


Things Not To Do When Breaking Up

1. Do not break up in the kitchen. There are just too many handy sharp objects and hard missiles. A living room, or near an exit door is best.

2. Do not break up in a place where you will have to be together for a long period of time afterwards. Breaking up while on vacation is bad. Breaking up if you are on an island where you have to take the ferry back is also bad. Breaking up in some rural setting is bad unless you both came in separate vehicles.

3. Do not answer questions with an answer that can be debated. If you open yourself up to a dialogue you might end up giving it another try. It's a Trap! Run for you life!



Good luck!

For more advice articles, check out the following links:

Relationships Advice for Men


Relationships Advice for Women





If you have broken up recently and are looking for love, then check the following:
Top 10 Dating Sites