Forever Single

This story originates from my first three years in the working world.I had just gotten married and worked in a small town appliance store selling televisions, stereos and white appliances. The store only had a few people working there. The sales staff consisted of myself, my boss, and an experienced sales lady. The other two staff were primarily bookkeepers, but they were involved in taking cash as well as customer credit applications. The senior of the two bookkeepers had been with the store for over 35 years. She had been single all of her life, and was in her seventies. The other bookkeeper was at the other end of the age spectrum. She was barely twenty, and this was her first full time gig since leaving school. She did a lot of the routine work under the direction of the more senior staff member. The senior person dealt with paying invoices from our wholesalers, and in payment delinquencies from customers. She did most of the details of bookkeeping under the day to day direction of the older lady. To say there was friction between them was an understatement, but that might be another story to tell some day.

On Monday morning when we first arrived, we tended to BS about our weekend happenings.  With the tight finances of being married recently, my wife and I usually just did very inexpensive things like play cards at friends houses. The old lady apparently had a taste for scotch, or at least that is what I had been told. She usually just went to church on Sundays, and hung around drinking 'tea' with her friends. The other salesperson was a woman in her 50's who mostly put on dinners for her family and extended family every Sunday. We managed to kibbutz around in the morning almost every day because the boss was usually a no-show until about 10:00 AM

That leaves the younger office girl Cathy. She was young, on the prowl, and her weekends were spent frequenting the local watering holes as she looked for guys. Her ultimate objective was to find a guy to marry. Defacto, most of our Monday morning chats ended up centered on Cathy's latest life drama. She could make the most common occurrences sound like a major stage production. Likely she would have been better served in the movie industry. She was fairly average in the looks department with a very slight weight issue. It was not bad, but she fussed over it all the time. All of the rest of the staff had a different opinion though. We all felt her problem was her attitude. The following story best illustrates this.

The day after one particular weekend, Cathy was once again discussing her weekend. As usual, she was out with her usual crowd of girlfriends. She was whining that her Saturday evening was a bust because she did not get to dance at all. She then told us about this guy who had come up to their table just as they walked in and asked one of her girlfriends to dance. She turned him down. He asked each of the other girls at the table, and they all turned him down too, including Cathy. Over the next hour, she had watched him ask other girls in the club, who all turned him down, so he left. She then laughed at how stupid he was to be so persistent.  I was curious why she thought it was stupid so I asked her.

She said that once one of the girls at her table said no, then all the other girls just had to say no. Otherwise they would look desperate. Perplexed by this attitude, I asked her to elaborate more.  Well she said, when he went around to the other tables, all the girls there had to turn him down too, even if they thought he was cute. When I asked why, she said that they would have been worried about looking needy by picking up someone that someone else had turned down.

In a desperate attempt at that point in my life to try to fathom the meanderings of the female mind, I asked a couple of other questions. I asked him if he was someone that women would not want to be caught dead with because he had warts on his face or something. She said that he was actually quite good looking, and she had been hoping for weeks that he would ask her to dance. Then I asked why it was the first girl had turned him down. She said that they had just gotten there, and that that she did not feel like dancing yet. So I asked Cathy that if she had been asked first, would she had said yes. She said that she had wanted him to ask her for weeks, so of course she would have said yes.  My eyes were now crossing trying to follow this distorted logic.

So I summarized my understanding up to that point in time. I said, you knew that your friend had turned him down not because she was not interested, but because she was tired. She said that was right. So when he asked you to dance and you turned him down, the result was that you ended up having a crappy evening. She said that sometimes stuff like that happens.

Being young and foolish and certain that I could solve anything, I decided that I could convince her that her reasoning was faulty, so I persisted. So I asked her to put herself in the place of the guy. I said if you were a guy, who at the table would you have approached to dance first? She said that likely she would have asked the same person that he did. She did not have as good a personality as she (Cathy) did, but that the other girl was cuter. So I asked if she had ever actually talked to the guy other than to turn him down, and she said no. So I said that she had never given him the opportunity to talk to her because she had refused to dance with him. How was he supposed to know that she had a better personality? She gave me a look that told me that she now classified my as mentally challenged. She said, “I already told you that I couldn't! Weren't you listening”? I gave up at that point.

A couple of weeks later, I noticed that Cathy was not her usual perky self. I asked her what the problem was. She said that the guy that she had turned down to dance had shown up with a new girlfriend, and said the the girl was not even pretty. I told her it was too bad that she had flubbed her opportunity to show him what a nice person she was. So again, she looked at me like I had the IQ of a slug and said, “I already told you that it was impossible for me to say yes to him that night!”  About a year later, Cathy was moping around the office for a couple of months. One of her girlfriends told me that they guy she really liked had married that girl. She still had not said boo to the guy. The only thing that she had ever said to him was to refuse to dance with him.

I left there shortly afterwards to take on a better job elsewhere in the same town. I stayed on long enough to train my replacement, and would run into him from time to time. He stayed on a decade before leaving as well. When he left, Cathy was still working at the store, still all alone, and still searching the bars for Mr. Right.

Looks like she never did change!


For more advice with online dating and male – female relationships, follow the link below:

Relationships Advice For Men

What Do Gay Men Want

 A lot of people seem to think that all gay men are shallow when seeking someone for a permanent relationship with. But is that really true? Of course many of us prefer someone who is healthy as well as physically fit; heck you can say the same thing about heterosexuals as well. So much so that sometimes it is hard for people that do not fit that physical ideal to find a partner. It can be even harder for gay men because they make up a smaller part of the general population. Some gay men are shallow and there's not a lot you can do to change that. My idea is that if they don't find you attractive they're not worth losing any sleep over and you can probably do a lot better.

With age comes wisdom, and as gay men mature, they will tend to mellow out and look for someone who is more of a friend than just a hot body. In the meantime, you are likely stuck playing the game and going to the gym regularly so that you can increase your pick up potential. Looks tends to be very important to younger gay men, but it is not the only thing. Not many guys want to date someone that is pot bellied. Personally for me I have to be very attracted to the person before I even think about about approaching another man, let alone start a relationship with them.  I guess that makes me shallow, but satisfied. 

 Why are a lot of young gay men interested in slim trim athletic types? Well lets see, guys in general are sexual creatures and want to have sex with good looking guys. This also holds true for many young men are only looking for sex and not any form of long term commitment. Of course attractiveness standards vary with different cultures and races, I have a few over weight friends that have no trouble getting dates and having serious relationships. But when it comes right down to it, it really does not matter why someone might focus on specific physical characteristics as the key features that they are looking for in a partner. Some people just behave this way when it comes to picking a mate its just who they are.

I know many people in my life that I would not consider dating, but I still like them as friends. I have some wonderful friends that I love as much as my brothers, and I met many of them on the Internet. That's right, as a matter of fact most of the guys I have dated in the past few years I have met through internet dating sites. You might think that I am callous because I can see what they look like before I put the moves on them, but it is more than that. Many of them are people that I happened to meet in chat rooms on dating sites and I became interested in them because of what they had to say. I have not dated many of them, but I do consider many of them to be among my circle of friends now. Besides, one of the best advantages of online dating is that when you just don't have the time to go out socializing, it's an easy way to meet and interact with people and it's fun.

I think I am at that cusp in my life where I am transitioning from casual pickups to a long term commitment. I am not quite ready to make the commitment jump yet, but I am thinking that a few longer term relationships might help me get past the fear that I have of being exclusive with just one person. Thats where the online dating comes in, you see when you join an online dating site both you and he know where each other stands so there's no surprises. If you hook up and it turns out that you're not really interested in a particular person but you sense their being a little pushy just move on to the next person, no harm done. And if by chance they start to hassle you online, well all you have to do is block them, with online dating sites your real email address phone number and address are never given out so there's no worry about someone spying on you following you unless you were stupid and gave them your personal contact information already.  The good thing is that most of the men you will meet on dating sites are decent human beings that are looking for the same things in life that your looking for.

For the most part most men do not care so much what you look like, or how you style your hair or whether or not you work out or not. They are primarily looking for someone to hang with. They want someone with the same interests, personality traits. Someone who is  compassionate, caring and giving. Someone who's company they can enjoy. Someone who will be there in the morning.

So if your looking for love in all the wrong places then join an online dating site to expand your horizons. There are literally hundreds of gay dating sites just waiting to help you meet someone special. They have a variety of members from many countries all looking for someone to share their time and lives with. So what are you waiting for? Get off your tush, get online and check them out. You won't be disappointed. If nothing else you're sure to make some good friends. The link below is to a site that I found helpful when I was first starting out in the internet dating arena. 

http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/gaydating.php

Are Gay Men Shallow

 Some people believe that gay men are shallow when it comes to finding someone they would like to have a long term relationship http://www. top100datingpersonals. com/with. But that just isn’t how it is.  Sure many of us prefer a hot, healthy body; pretty much everyone wants that, right? So much so that sometimes it is hard for the ones that do not fit that criteria to find a partner. It can be even harder for gay men because they make up a smaller part of the general population. Even the gay community has its share of shallow types. My belief is that if they don't find you attractive they're not worth losing any sleep over and you can probably do a lot better.

With age comes wisdom, and as gay men mature, they will tend to mellow out and look for someone who is more of a friend than just a hot body. But until that day comes you might just have to take what you can get, or try going to the gym once in awhile. Appearance is definitely a big factor, but it is not the only thing in the game of love between young gay men. Most guys do not want to date a guy that is fat. Personally looks are still an important factor before I would think about about interacting with another man.  If that makes me shallow, so be it, but I know what I want. 

 Why are so many young gay men interested in slim trim athletic types? Well lets see, guys in general are sexual creatures and want to have sex with good looking guys. This also holds true for many young guys who are not really interested in a relationship. But with varying 'attractive' criteria in different cultures, it is still possible for chubby men to get action. It really does not matter the reasons why people choose the way they do. There will always be people who behave in this manner when it comes to picking a mate its just who they are.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against people who don't measure up to my standards as far a dating goes, most of them are nice people but I just would not consider dating them. I have some good hearted friends that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world, and I met many of them on the Internet. That's right, as a matter of fact most of the guys I have dated in the past few years I have met through internet dating sites. You might think that I am callous because I can see what they look like before I put the moves on them, but it is more than that. Many of them are people that I happened to meet in chat rooms on dating sites and I became interested in them because of what they had to say. I have not dated many of them, but I do consider many of them to be among my circle of friends now. With my busy life style, I do not get a lot of opportunities to just troll bars looking for a lay, so my escape hatch is gay dating sites where I can hang out for a short time talking to people that I have come to know and respect.

I am not interested in the old so called ball and chain at this age in my life, but I do enjoy a some what serious relationship, and I would like it to last more than six months. That''s where the online dating comes in, you see when you join an online dating site both you and he know where each other stands so there's no surprises. If you start dating and the person seems to be rushing it and making you uncomfortable, it is easy to move on. The anonymity of a dating site really works to your advantage if you break up with someone that you have been seeing. There is no worry about them harassing you unless you were stupid and gave them your personal contact information already.  The best thing though is that most of the men on dating sites are just like you, and are unlikely to push themselves on someone where the affection is not being returned.

Most men are not overly particular about your looks. They are primarily looking for someone to hang with. They want someone with the same interests, personality traits. Someone who is involved with life, who enjoys activity, who gives back to the community. A person who stimulates them both intellectually, emotionally and sexually. Someone looking for a more of a commitment than just a one night stand.

So if your looking for love in all the wrong places then join an online dating site to expand your horizons. There are literally hundreds of gay dating sites just waiting to help you meet someone special. They have members from all walks of life and countries all looking for someone to share their interest and lives with. So what are you waiting for? Get off your butt, get online and check them out. You won't be disappointed. At worst you will meet a lot of interesting people that you will come to regard as friends, even if they never make it to lovers. The link below is to a site that I found helpful when I was first starting out in the internet dating arena.

http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/gaydating.php

Tips For Online Dating

Pluses of Online Dating

One of the most amazing things that modern technology has offered to the human race is the entire new way that it is possible to meet someone new. Yes, I am talking about online dating sites. In the hundreds of thousands of years that human beings have been meeting and interacting with each other, there has never been anything that approaches the reach, the utility, and the convenience of online dating.

Up until the last decade, you were very limited by distance and connections. In most cases, people met someone within a few miles of where they happened to be living, working or going to school at the time. With online dating, it is now totally possible to meet someone from any corner of the world. This is true, literally, figuratively and actually! The most amazing thing is that you can look through what they say about themselves and shortlist a bunch of people that you are interested in that also have some things in common with you. On top of this, most dating systems have searching algorithms that will help you find all those people in the first place. It is just so amazingly easy.



Minuses of Online Dating

Online dating sites are not foolproof. One problem is that people say what they are looking for, but they really do not know exactly what they want. People are much better at saying what they do not want in a partner than they are in saying what they want. Even so, people will often end up falling for someone who has many characteristics that they say they would not touch with a ten foot pole. On top of all that, online dating sites are the victims of members who exaggerate about themselves a lot, or just plain lie. For example, the hot young woman you think you’ve been chatting up online could be a 500 pound rat-catcher from Arsspik, Siberia. Or vise versa. Men and women both tend to post younger and more flattering pictures of themselves before they gained 40 pounds, and had more hair. You just never really know if the person you are interacting with is telling the truth. Be careful! Lots of married men and women troll dating sites looking for some action on the side. So keep your BS detector set to maximum sensitivity.

The bigger dating sites will actually have millions of profiles for you to search through, and that is a curse! Even with the computerized help, the task is daunting. How can you zero in better? Of course if you are like me you just need to search for "deaf, dumb, oversexed female who owns liquor store"!



Other Online Dating Recommendations

A name like THREEINCHTOOL is unlikely to gain you much positive attention after all. Chose a name that nobody would be embarrassed to say that they are looking at your profile. Another gem of advice is to let out your personal details gradually. Do not rush it. Pacing out the release of your personal information will give you more chances to dig out the details on them. During this time period, ask some of the same questions in slightly different ways, and look for inconsistencies. Someone who is lying will slip up. Talk on the phone a few times before meeting in person. Use a phone anonymizing service for the first few calls to protect you from any potential wackos that you might connect with.

Use a recent, accurate picture of yourself. You want them to like you for who you are, so present that person from the get-go. Do not put up a picture on your profile that you would be ashamed to show in public. You may be tempted to do something daring, but do not. You will only attract the wrong crowd. Also, although dating sites are supposed to be anonymous, pictures are not, and someone you know may recognize you, so do not put up any sort of compromising picture. When talking online, do not whine! Keep anything that mentions past relationships on the up and up. Relationships end all the time, and likely because both parties were at fault to some extent. Do not try to shift all the blame to your ex, that makes you look like someone who is not accountable for their actions, and that is a huge turn off for most women.

When it comes to you first 'in person' date, there are a few things you can do to make it more likely to be positive. Chose a time to meet early in the day, preferably over a coffee. Nobody expects a coffee date to last a long time, and if you decide it is not going to work out, you do not have to manufacture an excuse to leave. Second, if your date is not over coffee, set your phone alarm to go off a half hour into the date. That way, if it’s not going well, you can jet with an excuse. Lastly, let them know you’re also seeing other people. It is best to be honest, and ask them for the same thing.

If you are truly fortunate, the chemistry will be amazing and you will click as soon as you meet. If not, then there is always the next lucky lady. Good luck!


http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/

Chat Online

My cousin has had the worst luck of anyone I have ever met, one day as children he decided to climb a big tree in the front yard and “you guessed it” he got stuck up there. As the fire department showed up a crowd began to gather around the house to see the idiot that got stuck in the tree, they used a large ladder which one of the fireman climbed to rescue him and bring him safely to the ground. As I watched in amazement I thought “what would possess someone to climb that far up a tree in the first place”, but knowing my cousin it wasn’t hard to understand why. One summer afternoon we decided to go swimming at the local public school,it was the favorite place for neighborhood children to swim and as usual trouble followed, my cousin decided to show off his diving skills against my protests and as he hit the water his bathing suit came off, again another crowd.

Things didn’t improve much for him when he started high school, he met a girl that he really took a liking to but she really didn't feel the same way about him. One day she told him if he wanted to get lucky he should meet her in the school at 8:00 PM and to get ready for a big surprise. I tried to explain to him that it was trick, but he wouldn't listen. Unknown to him she rounded up half the school to wait in the gym, she then told my cousin to undress down to his shorts and meet her in the gym which he did. As he walked in the gym the lights came on and there he was standing in front of half the school in his underwear, there’s that crowd again.

My cousin and I started college together and I was sure things were going to get better for him, but this was not to be. He really didn't have much of a social life so if someone asked him to join their group he would jump at the chance to meet some girls and hopefully make a few friends, but more times than not they were only interested in making him the butt of their jokes. One night a few students invited him to go skinny dipping with them at the beach. I warned him against going but he was to excited to listen to me. They dared him to be the first one in and as he did so, they all piled into their cars took his clothes and sped off into the night leaving him there wet and naked. As he ran down the road clutching his manhood he was spotted by several motorist who then called the police, he was told he was going to be charged with indecent exposure but when he explained to them what happened they felt sorry for him and called me to come down with some clothes and take him home. I really felt bad for him and it angered me to see people treating him like that. He was, and still is, a great guy who wouldn't hurt a fly.

While my girlfriend and I were visiting him one evening she suggested that he try an online chat service, she explained that he can sit in the comfort of his own home and since he will be chatting online there’s nothing to be nervous about. She told him that he can get to know the woman by chatting with her and then later on maybe exchange photos, and if she is interested in meeting him in person just take it from there. I told him you're a nice looking guy and you have a lot to offer a women and it hurts me to see you alone. I want you to be happy so please try it for me.

After several failed attempts at different sites he finally discovered what he was looking for. He found a link that lead him to a great site and the perfect woman. He has never been happier and I can see in her eyes that she really loves him too. That was nine months ago and they're still going strong.

So take it from my cousin some chat services do work. You just have to find the right one. So if you're having trouble meeting someone and need a little help then try the link below.

http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/videodating.php