What Are Gay Men Looking For

 Some people believe that all gay men are shallow when seeking someone for a permanent relationship with. But that just isn’t how it is.  Of course many of us prefer someone who is healthy as well as physically fit; pretty much everyone wants that, right? In fact sometimes it is hard for the ones that do not fit that type to find a partner. It is more of a challenge for gay men because they are in a minority. Some gay men are shallow and there's not a lot you can do to change that. My belief is that if they don't find you attractive they're not worth losing any sleep over and you can probably do a lot better.

With age comes wisdom, and as gay men mature, they will tend to mellow out and look for someone who is more of a friend than just a hot body. In the meantime, you are likely stuck playing the game and going to the gym regularly so that you can increase your pick up potential. Looks tends to be very important to younger gay men, but it is not the only thing. Most guys do not want to date someone that is fat. Personally for me I have to be very attracted to the person before I even have any idea's about approaching another man, let alone start a relationship with them.  I guess that makes me shallow, but satisfied. 

 Why are so many young gay men interested in slim trim athletic types? Guys in general are sexual creatures and want to have sex with good looking guys. This also holds true for many young men are only looking for sex and not any form of long term commitment. But with varying 'attractive' criteria in different cultures, it is still possible for chubby men to get action. It really does not matter the reasons why people choose the way they do. Some people just behave this way when it comes to picking a potential life partner its just who they are.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against people who don't measure up to my standards as far a dating goes, most of them are nice people but I just would not consider dating them. I have some great friends that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world, and I met most of them online. That's right, as a matter of fact most of the guys I have dated in the past few years I have met through internet dating sites. You might think that I am callous because I can see what they look like before I put the moves on them, but it is more than that. Many of them are people that I happened to meet in chat rooms on dating sites and I became interested in them because of what they had to say. I have not dated many of them, but I do consider many of them to be among my circle of friends now. Besides, one of the best advantages of online dating is that when you just don't have the time to go out socializing, it's an easy way to meet and interact with people and it's fun.

I think I am at that cusp in my life where I am transitioning from casual pickups to a long term commitment. I am not quite ready to make the commitment jump yet, but I am thinking that a few longer term relationships might help me get past the fear that I have of being exclusive with just one person. Thats where the online dating comes in, you see when you join an online dating site both you and he know where each other stands so there's no surprises. If you hook up and it turns out that you're not really interested in a particular person but you sense their being a little pushy just move on to the next person, no harm done. And if by chance they start to hassle you online, well all you have to do is block them, with online dating sites your real email address phone number and address are never given out so there's no worry about someone spying on you following you unless you were stupid and gave them your personal contact information already.  The best thing though is that most of the men on dating sites are just like you, and are unlikely to push themselves on someone where the affection is not being returned.

For the most part most men do not care so much what you look like, or how you style your hair or whether or not you work out or not. They just want to find someone compatible. They would like someone with similar interests, who is intellectually challenging and has compatible personality traits. Someone who is  compassionate, caring and giving. A person who stimulates them both intellectually, emotionally and sexually. A friend with benefits.

So if you want to expand your horizons, consider joining an online dating site. There are many, many really solid sites out there that are totally committed to helping you find someone special in your life. They have members from all walks of life and cultures all looking for someone to share their time and lives with. So why wait? Get off your tush, get online and check them out. You won't be disappointed. At worst you will meet a lot of interesting people that you will come to regard as friends, even if they never make it to lovers. Below is the link to the site that I use, they have so many sites to chose from, I'm sure you'll find one that has what your looking for.

http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/gaydating.php

Thoughtless Thinking!

This story originates from my first three years in the working world.I was working in a small town store that sold stereos, television sets, pianos, organs, and appliances. I had been married quite recently and could not afford to do much after work. The store only had a few people working there. The boss, myself and another saleslady made up the sales staff, and there were two bookkeepers who looked after the cash transactions and any credit arrangements with customers. One of the bookkeepers was in her 70's. She was an aged spinster and the boss kept her employed for sentimental reasons. She had been with the store for 35 years after all. The other bookkeeper was a young girl in her early twenties. (She did a lot of the routine work under the direction of the more senior staff member. She did most of the routine work under the direction of the older lady. The senior person dealt with paying invoices from our wholesalers, and in payment delinquencies from customers. She did most of the details of bookkeeping under the day to day direction of the older lady. They had a severe personality clash between them, but most of the time that did not affect their work. The younger girl just loved to catch the older ladies mistakes, and often I heard all about the latest fiasco over lunch.

On Monday morning when we first arrived, we tended to BS about our weekend happenings.  Since I was recently married and cash was tight, my wife and I mostly just hung out with friends. The old lady apparently had a taste for scotch, or at least that is what I had been told. She usually just went to church on Sundays, and hung around drinking 'tea' with her friends. The other sales associate was a woman around 55 years old who spent most of her weekend cooking for her family and extended family. The boss never come in until 10:00 AM which is why we were able to shoot the breeze every Monday from 9:00 till 9:30 or so.

That leaves the younger office girl Cathy. She was young, on the prowl, and her weekends were spent frequenting the local watering holes as she looked for guys. Her ultimate objective was to find a guy to marry. Because all of the rest of us could only talk about the same stuff we talked about last week, invariably, the conversation on Monday tended to center on Cathy's latest exploits. She had a way of dramatizing the mundane, so if nothing else, her stories were more interesting than – 'I cooked dinner for my family'. She was not ugly, but not exactly the prettiest girl in the world either, so her trials and vexations were many. All of the rest of the staff had a different opinion though. We all felt her problem was her attitude. This is best typified by the following story.

The day after one particular weekend, Cathy was once again discussing her weekend. Par for the course, she had been out on the town with her closest friends. She was whining that her Saturday evening was a bust because she did not get to dance at all. She mentioned that this guy had come up to their table just as they got there, and had asked one of her friends to dance and was turned down. He asked each of the other girls at the table, and they all turned him down too, including Cathy. Over the next hour, she had watched him ask other girls in the club, who all turned him down, so he left. She then went on about how stupid he was.  I asked her why it was stupid, because from my point of view it looked like he just wanted to dance.

She said that once one of the girls at her table said no, then all the other girls just had to say no. Otherwise they would look desperate. Perplexed by this attitude, I asked her to elaborate more.  She said that after being turned down by all the women at our table, he then proceeded to ask other women at other tables, and they of course had to turn him down too. When I asked why, she said that it would have made them seem needy. Like they would just dance with anybody else's leavings.

In an effort to truly understand what to me was a twisted point of view, I asked her some more questions. I asked him if he was someone that women would not want to be caught dead with because he had warts on his face or something. She said that he was actually quite good looking, and she had been hoping for weeks that he would ask her to dance. So I asked if she knew why the first girl had turned him down. She said that they had just gotten there, and that that she did not feel like dancing yet. So I asked her if the guy would have asked her (Cathy) first would she have danced with him. She said that she had wanted him to ask her for weeks, so of course she would have said yes.  My eyes were now crossing trying to follow this distorted logic.

At this point I decided to summarize what I had heard to make sure that I got it right. I said, you really wanted to dance with him, but he happened to ask the other girl first. You knew she turned him down, not because she would not dance with him at all, but just because she did not feel like dancing at that particular point in time. She agreed with that. I suggested that she ended up having a crappy evening because she had turned down the one guy who asked her to dance with him. She said, yes, sometimes you can be unlucky.

Being young and foolish and certain that I could solve anything, I decided that I could convince her that her reasoning was faulty, so I persisted. So I asked her to put herself in the place of the guy. I said if you were a guy, who at the table would you have approached to dance first? She said that she supposed she would have approached the same girl that he did, because she was cuter, even though her personality was not as good as hers (Cathy's). So I asked if she had ever actually talked to the guy other than to turn him down, and she said no. So I said that she had never given him the opportunity to talk to her because she had refused to dance with him. How was he supposed to know that she had a better personality? She gave me a look that told me that she now classified my as mentally challenged. “Weren't you listening to me? I already told you why I could not dance with him!”, she said.  At that point I dropped the conversation. It was clearly pointless.

A week or two later, I noticed that Cathy was moping around for a couple of days. So I cajoled her into telling me what her problem was. She said that the guy she really liked had shown up with a new girlfriend on his arm, and they danced all night. She said that the girl was not that good looking, and was not even a good dancer. I said, too bad you messed up your chance. Again she looked at me like I was a moron. “How many times do I have to tell you that I couldn't!”, she said.  A year later, the guy apparently married the girl, and Cathy moped around for weeks. Believe it or not, other than refuse to dance with him, she had never spoken to the guy!

I left that store shortly afterwards but stayed in the city. A friend of mind took my place and worked there for another ten years before he too went on to greener pastures. At the time he left, Cathy had been promoted to senior bookkeeper after the older lady died. She was, however, still unmarried with no steady boyfriend. She was still prowling the bars with her friends on the weekend. She still had not found her prince charming.

I guess she never changed!


For more advice with online dating and male – female relationships, follow the link below:

Relationships Advice For Men

Lesbian Relationships

For a great deal of lesbians, finding the love of your life can be as easy as googling for lesbian dating sites (or even some more general purpose online dating sites) and creating an true profile that is interesting to read, and then just sit back and read the emails that will start to trickle in for the next few days. Sounds easy right , well it is, but you will get a lot more action if you take the time to initiate contact with other people on the site. Look at other people's profiles and reach out to them via chat or email on the site. You will likely find some really interested women to connect with. On top of that, you may find some ideas that you might want to capitalize on and add to your profile. After all, if something in someone else's profile catches your eye, then something similarly phrased in your profile will likely catch someone else's eye as well. A lot of lesbians find themselves in groups of singles while they are doing things they enjoy, are at work, and attending social gatherings. Any special event that attracts you will also attract like minded individuals, so you should always be on the lookout for someone with interests compatible to  yours.

 A common mistake that many lesbians make when having their first relationship is moving too fast. Soon you might find yourself in bed next to someone you barely know. Go out together for a while, get to know each other to find out what you have in common. You should have some common interests, values and plans for the future that will mesh well. Share things with each other, if you get a new job, if a family member has a baby, a party is planned, a kudos you might have gotten, be sure to involve your partner, you should not only think of them as your lover but also your best friend.

If you are at a family gathering or with friends and someone starts telling gay and lesbian jokes that are in bad taste and insulting to you and your partner, and you see your partner is disgusted by it, just get up and leave, tell them you came to enjoy yourselves not to listen to a lot of trash about how other people live their lives|One awkward situation would be to find yourselves at a social or family gathering and hear people dissing the gay and lesbian community at large. This will require you to make a stand and let people know that you will not tolerate statements of that nature. Insult them if you have to. If your family and friends are aware of your sexual preference then tell them that you are not at all happy about what was said, and that if they think your way of life is something to be made fun of and make jokes about then please don't expect you and your partner to attend any more get togethers. After all, who needs to go anywhere and be made to feel bad.

Introduce your partner to your friends and family and involve them in everything that you do. It is important when you are trying to advance a relationship to involve your family and other friends as much as possible.

Being one of God's chosen people, at least when it comes to aids, lesbians are just so lucky that their partner fully gets what it takes to satisfy them sexually. Women just totally understand how to please each other during sex.  Gay men are similarly blessed, but the aids specter spoils the fun a lot.  Pity the poor heterosexual couples where each party is not quite sure what makes the other either satisfied or happy.

Life is for living and enjoying, so live it to the fullest. Live, love and share your life with others, and surround yourself with friends and family who will be there for you in both good times and bad.

 Just remember people are always a little uneasy about things they really don't understand so ensure that you at least surround yourself with friends and family who have a positive attitude to both you, your sexuality, and your situation.  Since you are lesbians, then it would be best if many of your friends are from the lesbian community. It is difficult to find truly open minded heterosexual friends, so if you find some, then nurture them well.

God created Adam and Eve, but much suppressed in the early bible was any reference to Eva, who was Eve's lesbian playmate. God was amazing, because she totally understood the needs of women.


If you are considering a dating site then the link below can help you on your way.

http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/lesbiandating.php

Chat Online

My cousin has had the worst luck of anyone I have ever met, one day as children he decided to climb a big tree in the front yard and “you guessed it” he got stuck up there. As the fire department showed up a crowd began to gather around the house to see the idiot that got stuck in the tree, they used a large ladder which one of the fireman climbed to rescue him and bring him safely to the ground. As I watched in amazement I thought “what would possess someone to climb that far up a tree in the first place”, but knowing my cousin it wasn’t hard to understand why. One summer afternoon we decided to go swimming at the local public school,it was the favorite place for neighborhood children to swim and as usual trouble followed, my cousin decided to show off his diving skills against my protests and as he hit the water his bathing suit came off, again another crowd.

Things didn’t improve much for him when he started high school, he met a girl that he really took a liking to but she really didn't feel the same way about him. One day she told him if he wanted to get lucky he should meet her in the school at 8:00 PM and to get ready for a big surprise. I tried to explain to him that it was trick, but he wouldn't listen. Unknown to him she rounded up half the school to wait in the gym, she then told my cousin to undress down to his shorts and meet her in the gym which he did. As he walked in the gym the lights came on and there he was standing in front of half the school in his underwear, there’s that crowd again.

My cousin and I started college together and I was sure things were going to get better for him, but this was not to be. He really didn't have much of a social life so if someone asked him to join their group he would jump at the chance to meet some girls and hopefully make a few friends, but more times than not they were only interested in making him the butt of their jokes. One night a few students invited him to go skinny dipping with them at the beach. I warned him against going but he was to excited to listen to me. They dared him to be the first one in and as he did so, they all piled into their cars took his clothes and sped off into the night leaving him there wet and naked. As he ran down the road clutching his manhood he was spotted by several motorist who then called the police, he was told he was going to be charged with indecent exposure but when he explained to them what happened they felt sorry for him and called me to come down with some clothes and take him home. I really felt bad for him and it angered me to see people treating him like that. He was, and still is, a great guy who wouldn't hurt a fly.

While my girlfriend and I were visiting him one evening she suggested that he try an online chat service, she explained that he can sit in the comfort of his own home and since he will be chatting online there’s nothing to be nervous about. She told him that he can get to know the woman by chatting with her and then later on maybe exchange photos, and if she is interested in meeting him in person just take it from there. I told him you're a nice looking guy and you have a lot to offer a women and it hurts me to see you alone. I want you to be happy so please try it for me.

After several failed attempts at different sites he finally discovered what he was looking for. He found a link that lead him to a great site and the perfect woman. He has never been happier and I can see in her eyes that she really loves him too. That was nine months ago and they're still going strong.

So take it from my cousin some chat services do work. You just have to find the right one. So if you're having trouble meeting someone and need a little help then try the link below.

http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/videodating.php