This story originates from my first three years in the working world.I had just gotten married and worked in a small town appliance store selling televisions, stereos and white appliances. The store only had a few people working there. The sales staff consisted of myself, my boss, and an experienced sales lady. The other two staff were primarily bookkeepers, but they were involved in taking cash as well as customer credit applications. The senior of the two bookkeepers had been with the store for over 35 years. She had been single all of her life, and was in her seventies. The other bookkeeper was at the other end of the age spectrum. She was barely twenty, and this was her first full time gig since leaving school. She did a lot of the routine work under the direction of the more senior staff member. The senior person dealt with paying invoices from our wholesalers, and in payment delinquencies from customers. She did most of the details of bookkeeping under the day to day direction of the older lady. To say there was friction between them was an understatement, but that might be another story to tell some day.
On Monday morning when we first arrived, we tended to BS about our weekend happenings. With the tight finances of being married recently, my wife and I usually just did very inexpensive things like play cards at friends houses. The old lady apparently had a taste for scotch, or at least that is what I had been told. She usually just went to church on Sundays, and hung around drinking 'tea' with her friends. The other salesperson was a woman in her 50's who mostly put on dinners for her family and extended family every Sunday. We managed to kibbutz around in the morning almost every day because the boss was usually a no-show until about 10:00 AM
That leaves the younger office girl Cathy. She was young, on the prowl, and her weekends were spent frequenting the local watering holes as she looked for guys. Her ultimate objective was to find a guy to marry. Defacto, most of our Monday morning chats ended up centered on Cathy's latest life drama. She could make the most common occurrences sound like a major stage production. Likely she would have been better served in the movie industry. She was fairly average in the looks department with a very slight weight issue. It was not bad, but she fussed over it all the time. All of the rest of the staff had a different opinion though. We all felt her problem was her attitude. The following story best illustrates this.
The day after one particular weekend, Cathy was once again discussing her weekend. As usual, she was out with her usual crowd of girlfriends. She was whining that her Saturday evening was a bust because she did not get to dance at all. She then told us about this guy who had come up to their table just as they walked in and asked one of her girlfriends to dance. She turned him down. He asked each of the other girls at the table, and they all turned him down too, including Cathy. Over the next hour, she had watched him ask other girls in the club, who all turned him down, so he left. She then laughed at how stupid he was to be so persistent. I was curious why she thought it was stupid so I asked her.
She said that once one of the girls at her table said no, then all the other girls just had to say no. Otherwise they would look desperate. Perplexed by this attitude, I asked her to elaborate more. Well she said, when he went around to the other tables, all the girls there had to turn him down too, even if they thought he was cute. When I asked why, she said that they would have been worried about looking needy by picking up someone that someone else had turned down.
In a desperate attempt at that point in my life to try to fathom the meanderings of the female mind, I asked a couple of other questions. I asked him if he was someone that women would not want to be caught dead with because he had warts on his face or something. She said that he was actually quite good looking, and she had been hoping for weeks that he would ask her to dance. Then I asked why it was the first girl had turned him down. She said that they had just gotten there, and that that she did not feel like dancing yet. So I asked Cathy that if she had been asked first, would she had said yes. She said that she had wanted him to ask her for weeks, so of course she would have said yes. My eyes were now crossing trying to follow this distorted logic.
So I summarized my understanding up to that point in time. I said, you knew that your friend had turned him down not because she was not interested, but because she was tired. She said that was right. So when he asked you to dance and you turned him down, the result was that you ended up having a crappy evening. She said that sometimes stuff like that happens.
Being young and foolish and certain that I could solve anything, I decided that I could convince her that her reasoning was faulty, so I persisted. So I asked her to put herself in the place of the guy. I said if you were a guy, who at the table would you have approached to dance first? She said that likely she would have asked the same person that he did. She did not have as good a personality as she (Cathy) did, but that the other girl was cuter. So I asked if she had ever actually talked to the guy other than to turn him down, and she said no. So I said that she had never given him the opportunity to talk to her because she had refused to dance with him. How was he supposed to know that she had a better personality? She gave me a look that told me that she now classified my as mentally challenged. She said, “I already told you that I couldn't! Weren't you listening”? I gave up at that point.
A couple of weeks later, I noticed that Cathy was not her usual perky self. I asked her what the problem was. She said that the guy that she had turned down to dance had shown up with a new girlfriend, and said the the girl was not even pretty. I told her it was too bad that she had flubbed her opportunity to show him what a nice person she was. So again, she looked at me like I had the IQ of a slug and said, “I already told you that it was impossible for me to say yes to him that night!” About a year later, Cathy was moping around the office for a couple of months. One of her girlfriends told me that they guy she really liked had married that girl. She still had not said boo to the guy. The only thing that she had ever said to him was to refuse to dance with him.
I left there shortly afterwards to take on a better job elsewhere in the same town. I stayed on long enough to train my replacement, and would run into him from time to time. He stayed on a decade before leaving as well. When he left, Cathy was still working at the store, still all alone, and still searching the bars for Mr. Right.
Looks like she never did change!
For more advice with online dating and male – female relationships, follow the link below:
Relationships Advice For Men
The beach is one of my favorite places. People are genial and often more open than in the city. Best of all it is just a great place to let loose and hang. The beach is an even better place if you have some hot chick on your arm If you and your date decide on a beach venue, there are some simple preparations that will ensure that the trip is a success and remains a favorite place from then on
The magic number is five. You only need one item for each digit of one hand so it is really, really easy for the mathematically challenged to count them all (and no, I do not mean five rings, one for each finger). Five items is the minimum requirement for a great outing. If you forget any for these, your day will be off to a lousy start that can only get worse. BSSWT is the mnemonic to remember. They stand for Blanket, sunscreen, shoes, water and towels. You need water or else you can get a severe headache from dehydration. The shoes and towel are to protect your feet and body from the incredibly hot sand, and the sunscreen is to protect your skin so you can stay out all day. Use an SPF of 30 or better at a minimum. With the basics now covered, we can discuss other details to consider.
Beach Date Pluses
One of the truly great things about a beach date is that you get to see your honey in a bathing suit. The second plus is that it is inexpensive and usually just a lot of laid back fun. Of course it you have wrap around dark sunglasses, you can discretely check out all the other hot bodies as well.
Another great thing about the beach date is swimming and frolicking with your date. It is sometimes a bit difficult getting in those first few intimate touches, but losing your balance and grabbing each other for support while playing in the water is a great ice breaker in that area. Similarly, there is something about swimming together in deeper water and taking a water treading break that requires being close and personal. Speaking of, applying her sunscreen is another way to establish instant physical intimacy.
The beach date is also great because you can stay and watch the sunset and have a picnic supper with her. Very romantic! She’ll be relaxed, and that’s the key to having some intimate times. Enjoy!
Beach Date Minuses
One thing that is sure to spoil a beach outing is rain, cold weather or excessive wind. Check the long range forecast before you make the date if you are planning in advance. Even so, the forecast is likely to change, so have a change in venue if it turns out that the beach is a no-go for reasons of weather. Do one final check the night before because the weather will be pretty certain by then. Remember too, that the temperature at the beach is always a little cooler, because of the onshore breeze. Bring an extra sweater in case she gets chilly.
Sharks are always a potential threat to a good date. Don’t take her to Amity Island in New England. From the films about that place I’ve seen, beach-goers can have problems. ;-)
Nothing is as big a pain as a loud, obnoxious group of people close by. You know the type, rude, foul mouthed, and just show offs. Often pushing their weight around because they need to feel big for some reason. If you run into something like that, then just move up the beach a way to where it is quieter and more private. Keep mobile!
Lastly, you have to expect a few muscle-bound hunks will be walking along the beach looking for women. These jerks ruin it for all the other dudes who have a beer belly or shoulder hair. You can try distracting her when they come near, but it is better to actually just let her get her eyeful of hunky dude. Chances are she would not be going out with you if body builder types enamor her.
If things go really well, she might want to stay on the beach after everyone else has left and get frisky. Not a good idea, despite what Hollywood tells you. Here’s why. Sex on the beach always involves sand. It’s coarse, and not what you want when you’re getting “slippery”. Plus, it’s not private, and gets cold fast once the sun goes down. Bring her home to bed – trust me!
Anyways, hopefully this gives you guys some ideas and help. Don’t forget the sunscreen!
For other helpful advice for men, check out this site:
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/advice_for_men.php
If you main squeeze does not like the beach and you do, maybe you should be looking for someone new. If you are in that situation, then check out the link below for a list of the top Internet Dating Sites:
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/top10datingpersonals.php
One big hurdle to get over when dating a woman is the first invite to your house where you prepare dinner. It can be a wonderful intimate experience for both of you to kick back and truly relax. Unfortunately it can also lead to disaster very easily. Hopefully these tips help you through it, friends.
If you’re really worried or inexperienced at making dinner for someone, the best thing for you to do is subtly ask her what her favorite cuisine is during a date, and order that from a reputable establishment. It might lack the “home-cooked” element that girls like, but it’s not a deal breaker. However, if you do feel like you’re a good cook, here are some dos and don’ts:
Things That You Should Do
Unless your date does not like wine, or does not drink at all, wine is a good choice. It shows sophistication, and at the same time shows her that you can do more than just guzzle beer. Pick something appropriate. A red like a Merlot or Cabernet sauvignon for red meats, or a white, like pinot grigio, chardonnay, or sauvignon blanc for chicken or fish. And do not cheap out or go too expensive. Something in the $12.00 to $20.00 a bottle range for a dinner date will likely prove sufficient, and will be acceptable even if she has a more educated pallet than you do.
A light appetizer might be appropriate. Here it is easy to wimp out and just go with a frozen hors d'oeurve like mozzarella sticks.
A simple stir fry is one of my favorite meals. You prep the ingredients in advance, and the meal will be totally cooked in 15 minutes. Cut the meat that you have selected into 1" cubes. Fry them in a couple of tablespoons of light oil for 3 to 5 minutes lightly seasoning with salt and pepper. Add in the pre-chopped harder to cook vegetables like carrots, string beans or celery or onions. And then after a few more minutes stir in softer vegetables like spring peas, zucchini or tomatoes. Add a touch of soy sauce, and you are done. The beauty about a stir-fry is that you do not have to start cooking until after she arrives. Perfect if she is habitually late, may be stuck in traffic, or may have to stay late at work a bit because she is into an important project.
Ask about any allergies or diet issues she might have – otherwise your dessert might have to wait until you get back from the emergency room. Keep an over the counter anti-histamine around for emergencies. Benedryl is one of the better known. Ask your pharmacist for another appropriate alternative to have on hand as well if benedryl is a problem.
Keep your portions small, especially if the food is inherently heavy. You do not want either one of you to be too bloated to have sex afterwards, if the evening turns out as planned.
Candles are always appreciated for dinner, as they add intimacy. You can even have several around your digs for atmosphere as well. Rap and Hip Hop are never acceptable for a date. Many classics are actually overtures that can be booming at times. Elevator music is too boring. Stay to ballads or light jazz. Nora Jones or Diana Krall are great choices as they tend towards sultry intimacy in their songs.
Bad Things To Do
Stay away from anything that you have not cooked before at least twice successfully. Stay way from meals that are too fussy or require you to be stirring constantly for long periods of time. You are looking for something where either the stove does all the work by itself, or else something that might require fussing but only for a few minutes maximum.
Stay away from curry, onions or garlic. They may be healthy, but they are not healthy for successful outcome of a dinner date. Always keep a bowl of mints in plain view for both of you to use after dinner.
Make sure that you have two complete settings of the same plates and silverware. If all your current dinner ware is composed of single piece rejects from your parents and former room mates, you can buy a four-piece setting of plates and silverware for about $40.00 total at any Wal-Mart.
Don’t over-spice. It’ll lead to gas problems for both of you, and that’s not romantic.
Desert
You never want to load her down with so much food that if things do get sexy, she’s too full of food to really give it much effort. Serve something light like a sherbet, or a fruit cup.
Keep some whipped topping in the fridge in case the evening is an unqualified success.
Have fun!
To see more, check out this link:
Advice For Men
The Internet is now the engine that drives freedom of expression to the entire world. This has a couple of facets that result. The first is that there are no barriers to hate-mongers to spew their trash on the world at large. The better side of the Internet is its ability to drive the causes of freedom of religion, the embracing of racial equality, and lauding the benefits of religious diversity.
One place where this freedom of choice and expression is most evident is in the online dating community of sites. All aspects of sex, sexuality, religion, race and language are catered to. To that end, the Internet Dating Community fully embraces the spirit of freedom of expression and choice that have been the hallmarks of the Internet revolution.
Online dating is not just for one race, black people use the internet to find spouses. The coolest thing about the Internet is that it is okay with many sorts of relationship types that were totally unacceptable before the internet revolution. The Internet tends to promote a laissez faire attitude when it comes to mixed relationships, whether it be mixed race, mixed religion, mixed ethnicity, or any possible combination of these things.
Though you might think it hard to find black singles online, you can find them if you know where to look. Here are a few thoughts on how to find black men and black women online.
There are so many social networking sites theses days, almost everyone is connected to everyone else in some way. It is almost guaranteed that some of your acquaintances are connected to single black men and single black woman. It is totally possible to leverage sites like facebook to find your black soul mate. Many social sites allow you to publish a personal profile with the objective of finding someone of similar interests. Black singles and people interested in meeting black singles can post their profiles for other people to view. Broad spectrum social networking sites will often have some sort of matchmaking section that match black people with others from around the continent. Sites like craigs list or kijiiji where such postings are a sideline of their core business are examples of this class of site.
The most effective strategy would be to contact a black online dating service. There are many of them online. It might be wise for you to know what you want when selecting the free black online dating site that you are searching for.
The Web is a place where everybody can find somebody, whether it is for fun or romance or making new friendship will likely be the ideal matchmaking choice for you. People from all walks of life employ the internet daily. Concurrently on line there are thousands of black singles online searching for other black singles to chat with. It might be a good idea to try using your favorite search engine and type in black dating sites, you might be surprised to see how many of these dating sites let you see photos of people and let you actually chat with them right then and there, so what have you got to lose.
Remember that black singles do not have to use specialty black dating sites for success, there are quite a few online dating sites that offer interracial dating, so it is very possible to use these to find other black single, Caucasian single, or Asian single almost right away. In conjunction with that there are people everywhere in the world hoping to meet someone just like you, so you could be matched with someone from another company if you are willing to travel to meet them in person.
Nobody should be lonely, there are so many helpful ways of connecting with people these days there is no reason to be alone. There is nothing pitiful in seeking a partner online, at least you will have an idea what the person is like before you get involved, and if you are not satisfied with the persons nature, you can simply block them and you will cease to exist for them. The anonymity of online dating sites is their true strength. It offers a level of security that meeting in bars can never begin to approach. How could anybody give you grief if they do not even know who you really are or where you actually live.
So come on love starved singles out there, register with an online black dating site, you have nothing to lose but everything to gain. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a partner in your life to spend time with and have a richer social life. Here is a link you should try, it offers a variety of dating sites including black dating sites, so check it out.
Black Dating Sites
One big hurdle to get over when dating a woman is the first invite to your house where you prepare dinner. It can be a wonderful intimate experience for both of you to kick back and truly relax. Unfortunately it can also lead to disaster very easily. Without being overly specific, these simple tips should help you get through that event.
If you’re really worried or inexperienced at making dinner for someone, the best thing for you to do is subtly ask her what her favorite cuisine is during a date, and order that from a reputable establishment. It might lack the “home-cooked” element that girls like, but it’s not a deal breaker. If you feel competent to actually cook for her, then the following are some easy considerations to take into account:
Menu Do's
Unless your date does not like wine, or does not drink at all, wine is a good choice. It shows sophistication, and at the same time shows her that you can do more than just guzzle beer. Pick something appropriate. A red like a Merlot or Cabernet sauvignon for red meats, or a white, like pinot grigio, chardonnay, or sauvignon blanc for chicken or fish. And do not cheap out or go too expensive. Something in the $12.00 to $20.00 a bottle range for a dinner date will likely prove sufficient, and will be acceptable even if she has a more educated pallet than you do.
Even if she is not into Japanese sushi or maki, then picking up some simple vegetarian California rolls ahead of time and keeping them in the fridge would be appropriate.
One of my best standbys is spaghetti. There is a small Italian deli near where I live that sells homemade sauce in jars, and the spaghetti will cook in about 12 minutes. This allows you to have the sauce on warm and put in the spaghetti only after she arrives.
Before undertaking the first cooking date, make sure you have any food allergies down cold. The life threatening ones are worry some, but the annoying little sensitivities can prove to be an intimacy killer as well. Keep an over the counter anti-histamine around for emergencies. Benedryl is one of the better known. Ask your pharmacist for another appropriate alternative to have on hand as well if benedryl is a problem.
Speaking of, you should keep the meal light – that way if you do have dessert and then want some “adult times”, you won’t be too full of food to really “move it”.
Candles and music are a must. Choose something that is easy to listen to. A relaxed sonata is easier to digest to than a booming overture.
Things Not To Do
If you are trying to impress her, then cook it several times and eat it yourself before the big date. You do not want any slip-ups on the big night. It can spoil the evening.
Avoid anything involving garlic and onion unless you buy her an extra toothbrush in a sealed package. Explain that you didn’t buy it expecting her to use it in the morning, but because you might want to do some kissing. She’ll blush.
Don’t serve your meal on paper plates, and don’t serve your drinks in plastic cups. You don’t have to break out the fine china, but you don’t want it to look like a cookout in the bush..
Do not over spice, and stay away from gassy foods like cucumbers. For a similar reason, serving soda pop or beer should be avoided. Burping is just not romantic.
Desert
You never want to load her down with so much food that if things do get sexy, she’s too full of food to really give it much effort. Serve something light like a sherbet, or a fruit cup.
Keep some whipped topping in the fridge in case the evening is an unqualified success.
Good luck and bon appetite!
To see more, check out this link:
Advice For Men
If you are looking for advice on how to date women, then this post hopefully will give you a few courses of action. When you treat women correctly on the first date, they will likely be open for other dates, regardless of what you look like or your financial position. There is one key ingredient, and that is charm, charm, charm. Although there is such a thing as too flattering, girls will tend to forgive that. There is however, a few must not dos such as:
1) Do not kowtow to her excessively such as
a. Making her feel so important that you look needy. If you are praising her or giving her a complement, do it jokingly. You will achieve the complement yet still appearing to be a person of substance and stature.
b. Asking her to compare you former lovers – on a first date you will look like less because of the lack of history Do not push this rhetorical button; it is too soon to get into this level of feedback.
c. Delegating control of the date to her. Questions should not be open ended. If you are not sure of what she wants, then give her a list of two, or at most three choices of things to do next. If she is not happy with any of the choices, then you have have not done sufficient research as to what her needs are. You have screwed up, you deserve to be dumped. (On subsequent dates, you can ask for ideas, but on a first date you should appear to be in control, well planned, but flexible).
2) The next common mistake is trying to impress her too much. Do not boast and crow, and do not say how much money you make. Just be a considerate partner, hear and remember what she says, and pick up the bill. Date one is female centric, it is not about you. If she wants to know more about you, then give them a solid well thought out answer but no answer should take longer than one minute, or else you are in the danger zone of saying too much and coming across as boasting or bragging.
3) Do not put her on a pedestal. That advice is more important if the woman is very pretty. Very pretty women are used to being on a pedestal. Did you ever notice how often that really attractive women are hanging out with hoodlums? That is because hoods treat them normally and they feel like they are being appreciated for what they are. In many cases the hoods are abusive, but they like that because at least the bum is treating them differently than everyone else does. Nothing is more tiring to attractive women as getting hit on – they have heard it all before. The more successful tack is to just ask them something about themselves, such as what they are doing, where they work, etc.
4) Wanting to go steady too soon in a relationship. Both you and her should be obviously playing the field initially. If you come across as someone who would commit exclusively either on or just after the first date, you will seem needy and diminished in their eyes. No woman wants to be dating a needy loser. You have to come across as successful in relationships, and therefore desirable in her eyes.
If you are having trouble getting a desirable woman, then try the following pages to help you zero in on the kind of female that you desire:
Free Personals
Adult Dating
Mature Dating
Gay Dating
Lesbian Dating
Swinger
Couple Dating
Top Ten Dating
Top 100 Personals
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/onlinedating.php
Some people believe that all gay men are shallow when seeking someone for a permanent relationship with. But that just isn’t how it is. Of course many of us prefer someone who is healthy as well as physically fit; pretty much everyone wants that, right? In fact sometimes it is hard for the ones that do not fit that type to find a partner. It is more of a challenge for gay men because they are in a minority. Some gay men are shallow and there's not a lot you can do to change that. My belief is that if they don't find you attractive they're not worth losing any sleep over and you can probably do a lot better.
With age comes wisdom, and as gay men mature, they will tend to mellow out and look for someone who is more of a friend than just a hot body. In the meantime, you are likely stuck playing the game and going to the gym regularly so that you can increase your pick up potential. Looks tends to be very important to younger gay men, but it is not the only thing. Most guys do not want to date someone that is fat. Personally for me I have to be very attracted to the person before I even have any idea's about approaching another man, let alone start a relationship with them. I guess that makes me shallow, but satisfied.
Why are so many young gay men interested in slim trim athletic types? Guys in general are sexual creatures and want to have sex with good looking guys. This also holds true for many young men are only looking for sex and not any form of long term commitment. But with varying 'attractive' criteria in different cultures, it is still possible for chubby men to get action. It really does not matter the reasons why people choose the way they do. Some people just behave this way when it comes to picking a potential life partner its just who they are.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against people who don't measure up to my standards as far a dating goes, most of them are nice people but I just would not consider dating them. I have some great friends that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world, and I met most of them online. That's right, as a matter of fact most of the guys I have dated in the past few years I have met through internet dating sites. You might think that I am callous because I can see what they look like before I put the moves on them, but it is more than that. Many of them are people that I happened to meet in chat rooms on dating sites and I became interested in them because of what they had to say. I have not dated many of them, but I do consider many of them to be among my circle of friends now. Besides, one of the best advantages of online dating is that when you just don't have the time to go out socializing, it's an easy way to meet and interact with people and it's fun.
I think I am at that cusp in my life where I am transitioning from casual pickups to a long term commitment. I am not quite ready to make the commitment jump yet, but I am thinking that a few longer term relationships might help me get past the fear that I have of being exclusive with just one person. Thats where the online dating comes in, you see when you join an online dating site both you and he know where each other stands so there's no surprises. If you hook up and it turns out that you're not really interested in a particular person but you sense their being a little pushy just move on to the next person, no harm done. And if by chance they start to hassle you online, well all you have to do is block them, with online dating sites your real email address phone number and address are never given out so there's no worry about someone spying on you following you unless you were stupid and gave them your personal contact information already. The best thing though is that most of the men on dating sites are just like you, and are unlikely to push themselves on someone where the affection is not being returned.
For the most part most men do not care so much what you look like, or how you style your hair or whether or not you work out or not. They just want to find someone compatible. They would like someone with similar interests, who is intellectually challenging and has compatible personality traits. Someone who is compassionate, caring and giving. A person who stimulates them both intellectually, emotionally and sexually. A friend with benefits.
So if you want to expand your horizons, consider joining an online dating site. There are many, many really solid sites out there that are totally committed to helping you find someone special in your life. They have members from all walks of life and cultures all looking for someone to share their time and lives with. So why wait? Get off your tush, get online and check them out. You won't be disappointed. At worst you will meet a lot of interesting people that you will come to regard as friends, even if they never make it to lovers. Below is the link to the site that I use, they have so many sites to chose from, I'm sure you'll find one that has what your looking for.
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/gaydating.php
